Self-Coach Sunday 77: Turn Complaints Into Requests

Complaining is not attractive. Give it up. Do you enjoy listening to someone complaining? I didn’t think so.

The solution: turn the complaint into a request. Come up with your request. The other person can say yes, no, or counteroffer. When you hear that complaint coming, think of the request you’d like to make. Also, let people know about this action. When they catch you complaining, have them ask YOU what the request is you’d really like to make.

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Self-Coach Sunday 76: Listen Profoundly

Now that you have stopped talking so much, you will have more time to listen. Are you a good listener? Most people think they are. Listening is an art, and like any skill, it takes practice. Stop worrying about what you are going to say. What really attracts people is how well you listen. The way to build trust is to listen, and keep on listening.

One rule of thumb is to talk 20 percent of the time and listen 80 percent. Try this today and see what happens. And remember, if you are talking in your head, judging or thinking of your reply, then you are not truly listening. Be aware of how much you talk to yourself, while you are listening to someone else. Then, shift your focus back on the other person. Really hear everything that person has to say.  The more profoundly you listen, the more people will enjoy being around you.

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Self-Coach Sunday 74: Stop The Gossip

As much as you may love hearing about the dirt on someone, do you ever wonder what others might be saying about you when you aren’t around? No one trusts gossip. You may really miss out on profound conversations because of trust or lack of trust. The rule is to avoid talking about someone who isn’t present. That is a simple rule to follow. Every time you don’t follow it – it is gossip.

A graceful way to steer the conversation away from gossip is to say, “I’d rather hear about you; or I don’t feel comfortable talking about someone who isn’t present.”

What is wrong with a little friendly gossip? Simply put, it can be harmful and destructive. The benefit of giving up gossip: people will start to trust you.

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Self-Coach Sunday 73: Communicate with Power, Grace and Style

You now have a solid foundation, increased your energy by getting rid of drains, and have positive energy coming your way. You have opened space for what you truly want in life.

The next ten blog posts are not so much about doing, but more about a way of being. This includes communicating with power, grace and style. This goes way beyond the surface – it is all about being who you are. Not just looking the part, but truly being – plain and simple.

The next ten blogs will guide you to your best and most successful self. Letting yourself shine from the inside out. We will start by fine-tuning your communication skills. See you tomorrow.

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If you are interested in coaching or have questions, please feel free to contact me.

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Self-Coach Sunday 66: Love Your Lists or Lose Them

One way to be in the moment and increase productivity is to get rid of your to-do lists. As a list-lover, I know this may sounds nuts. Try keeping a list for work, but trash your personal list. If this sounds challenging, try it for a week. You will find you naturally know what needs to be done.

The problem with lists is that we tend to be ruled by them. People tend to beat themselves up if they don’t get everything on the list done. That can sometimes be a deciding factor in having a good day or a bad day. Instead of beating yourself up, congratulate yourself on the things you did get done. Another danger is that we get so focused on the to-do list that we miss out on great opportunities around us in the moment. A list can be a great tool, but can also limit your vision. If you are unable to toss that list for good, make sure to keep your list empowering. And don’t beat yourself up if you don’t complete everything on the list.

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