Self-Coach Sunday 78: Bite Your Tongue

Often, we think that everyone wants to hear the wonderful advice we have to offer. In reality, people may or may not want to hear what we have to say. A simple way to save your breath: ask permission. Coaches call this technique interrupting. Gently interrupt and voice that you might have a suggestion, and might they be interested in hearing it? You can also ask: “would you like to hear how I handled that?” Or, “could I give you some advice?” Always make it a point to ask before giving advice. It is the gracious and effective thing to do. In time, it will become effortless.

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Self-Coach Sunday 75: Don’t Spill Your Guts

If you are discreet, then this will not apply to you. If, instead, you feel compelled to share the details of your private life to colleagues and new friends, you might was to considering holding your tongue. Most people do not want to hear the most intimate details. Save these stories for your mom, spouse, therapist, coach or long-time friend.

When someone asks you something, keep the answer short and simple without revealing too many details. If someone presses for more detail, simply say “that is a personal question.” Don’t spill your guts – it isn’t professional. As relationships develop you can consider sharing more important parts of your past. Err on the side of not telling everything. Instead, be interested not interesting – interested in other people instead of being interesting.

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Self-Coach Sunday 70: Make A Radical Change

Are you looking for change but feel stuck? Lets look at why you aren’t making progress. Is there something preventing you from taking action? Is it fear? Are you just not interested in that particular action? Don’t let these unanswered questions lead you to quit. Remove the blocks and fears.

One way to do this is to get rid of the goal and create a new one that you don’t need motivation to tackle. Make sure you focus this new goal on getting what you want – directly. Don’t go on a diet to find a partner; instead, create a plan just to find a partner. Ditch the diet part. It is not what you need to do to get a partner.

What if you are still stuck? Make a radical change. Do something completely different and go in the opposite direction. Just don’t do the same old thing. If you want a different result then try something different.

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Self-Coach Sunday 67: Take A Power Nap

If you already meditate, good for you! If meditation doesn’t work for you then consider calling that time a power nap. Set the scene: pillow, comfy throw, relaxing music or sounds of waves, closed eyes, or whatever makes you feel relaxed.  The point here is to do nothing. You can even fall asleep. If thought pop up in your head, have a pen and pad handy to jot them down and clear them out. Now, just lie there until you feel like getting up.

This time may offer a much needed clearing out, or a welcome of new ideas. You may even get answers to things that you have been pondering. The point is really to take time to meditate, relax and do nothing.  But if something does come up, keep note.

See if you can find time to sit. You can work in a daily power nap and make some space for creative thought to flourish.

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Self-Coach Sunday 58: Let Your Intuition Lead The Way

Follow your intuition. It may lead you to finding your purpose or dream job. It helps to distinguish between your head talking – the rational part of you – and the other – intuition. Intuition is listening to your gut, and it always has your best interest at heart.  As you develop your intuition and start following its guidance, you will start to listen less and less to your head.

Start with little things: voice tells you to bring and umbrella, call someone, etc.  See if it was right. Give yourself 10 minutes throughout the day to sit in silence and just listen to what your intuition tells you. The result may be better decision making and good things coming your way.

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