Self-Coach Sunday 76: Listen Profoundly

Now that you have stopped talking so much, you will have more time to listen. Are you a good listener? Most people think they are. Listening is an art, and like any skill, it takes practice. Stop worrying about what you are going to say. What really attracts people is how well you listen. The way to build trust is to listen, and keep on listening.

One rule of thumb is to talk 20 percent of the time and listen 80 percent. Try this today and see what happens. And remember, if you are talking in your head, judging or thinking of your reply, then you are not truly listening. Be aware of how much you talk to yourself, while you are listening to someone else. Then, shift your focus back on the other person. Really hear everything that person has to say.  The more profoundly you listen, the more people will enjoy being around you.

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Self-Coach Sunday 75: Don’t Spill Your Guts

If you are discreet, then this will not apply to you. If, instead, you feel compelled to share the details of your private life to colleagues and new friends, you might was to considering holding your tongue. Most people do not want to hear the most intimate details. Save these stories for your mom, spouse, therapist, coach or long-time friend.

When someone asks you something, keep the answer short and simple without revealing too many details. If someone presses for more detail, simply say “that is a personal question.” Don’t spill your guts – it isn’t professional. As relationships develop you can consider sharing more important parts of your past. Err on the side of not telling everything. Instead, be interested not interesting – interested in other people instead of being interesting.

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Self-Coach Sunday 61: Take A Sabbatical

If a weekend or week-long retreat isn’t doing if for you, take a sabbatical. You may be able to negotiate some time off work even if your employer doesn’t offer you a formal sabbatical.

A sabbatical is more than a vacation, it is a time to rest, relax and experiment with new skills ad risk-taking. The idea is to step outside of your day-to-day routine and find out what is most important to you. This is also a good time to reflect on what is going well in your life and what might need to change. Use this time to learn more about yourself. Live outside the box, and don’t worry what others may think. Sometimes we need to get off track to get back on track.

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Self-Coach Sunday 59: Find Your Path In Life

Knowing what you want to do in life can be the key to happiness. Those with a plan, vision, purpose or goal will naturally attract people who are interested in going in the same direction.

Ask yourself these questions:

  1. What is my purpose in life?
  2. What am I hear to accomplish or learn?
  3. What’s in my soul and heart to do?

Then, write down the answers in the form of a statement.  Ex. my purpose is to learn and love as fully as possible. Or, my purpose is to be a happy traveler. Your purpose does not have to be earth-shattering in scope. Be honest, real and simple.

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Self-Coach Sunday 58: Let Your Intuition Lead The Way

Follow your intuition. It may lead you to finding your purpose or dream job. It helps to distinguish between your head talking – the rational part of you – and the other – intuition. Intuition is listening to your gut, and it always has your best interest at heart.  As you develop your intuition and start following its guidance, you will start to listen less and less to your head.

Start with little things: voice tells you to bring and umbrella, call someone, etc.  See if it was right. Give yourself 10 minutes throughout the day to sit in silence and just listen to what your intuition tells you. The result may be better decision making and good things coming your way.

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