Self-Coach Sunday 80: Convert Compliments Into Acknowledgments

One way to attract success is to convert your compliments into acknowledgments. Compliments come fairly often: “what a beautiful scarf”, or “that was a great performance.” Although getting these are wonderful, acknowledgments are even better. When you acknowledge someone it is about who the person is, instead of what the person has or does. For example: “I really appreciate the support you have shown by coming all the way from Baltimore to see my concert. Your presence is meaningful.” This is very personal and leaves that person feeling good about himself.

A compliment is great; an acknowledgement is more meaningful. Practice giving acknowledgments with people you encounter. Be as specific as possible. Instead of saying “you’re terrific,” say, “you’re a great speaker. I admire how poised and graceful you handle yourself.” Know a great cook? Instead of saying, “what a delicious dinner!” you could say, “this is a superb meal. Your attention to detail is incredible.”

Giving an acknowledgment is energizing for both the giver and the receiver. Change this one thing and you will attract people.

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Self-Coach Sunday 79: Say It Like It Is, But Gently

Prepare people for what you have to say. Avoid the difficult, awkward and even painful things you may say to people by saying it like it is. For example: let someone know that what you want to talk to them about isn’t easy for you and may be difficult for them to hear. The point is not to sugar-coat what you say – say exactly what you need to in a way that the other person can hear and understand. It is not about saying something to upset someone – so be gently. Even though you are “saying it like it is,” be in a positive and unconditionally constructive state with everything you say.

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Self-Coach Sunday 78: Bite Your Tongue

Often, we think that everyone wants to hear the wonderful advice we have to offer. In reality, people may or may not want to hear what we have to say. A simple way to save your breath: ask permission. Coaches call this technique interrupting. Gently interrupt and voice that you might have a suggestion, and might they be interested in hearing it? You can also ask: “would you like to hear how I handled that?” Or, “could I give you some advice?” Always make it a point to ask before giving advice. It is the gracious and effective thing to do. In time, it will become effortless.

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Self-Coach Sunday 69: Get Yourself Unstuck

The key to making a big change is to make a little change. It is all about inertia. The idea of making a big change can be overwhelming, so we don’t do anything. Inertia – the tendency of bodies at rest to stay at rest – will keep you where you are unless you do something.

This is where taking baby steps comes in to play. Try creating a plan with smaller steps.  This can lead to the big change over time. Any change may lead to more change. So, take a different route home, drink tea instead of coffee, eat at a new restaurant. Any small change will do. This momentum get you going and can lead you to bigger changes effortlessly.

What small change can you make today to help create upward momentum?

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