Self-Coach Sunday 76: Listen Profoundly

Now that you have stopped talking so much, you will have more time to listen. Are you a good listener? Most people think they are. Listening is an art, and like any skill, it takes practice. Stop worrying about what you are going to say. What really attracts people is how well you listen. The way to build trust is to listen, and keep on listening.

One rule of thumb is to talk 20 percent of the time and listen 80 percent. Try this today and see what happens. And remember, if you are talking in your head, judging or thinking of your reply, then you are not truly listening. Be aware of how much you talk to yourself, while you are listening to someone else. Then, shift your focus back on the other person. Really hear everything that person has to say.  The more profoundly you listen, the more people will enjoy being around you.

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Self-Coach Sunday 72: Leverage The Telephone

There are a few ways to do this. First, put a 10-minute limit on phone calls. Always try to end the conversation first, and do it with grace. Keeping your calls short and friendly will show your professionalism and value of time.

Another way is to take advantage of voice mail. You do not have to answer the phone every time it rings. And now with caller ID you can assess the call as it comes in as to whether to let it go to voice mail or pick it up. Letting the call go can free you to focus on whatever task you were working on when the call came in. Once you finish that task, you can go back and call that person and utilize the 10-minute plan. Use your phone as a tool to increase, not decrease, your effectiveness.

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Self-Coach Sunday 70: Make A Radical Change

Are you looking for change but feel stuck? Lets look at why you aren’t making progress. Is there something preventing you from taking action? Is it fear? Are you just not interested in that particular action? Don’t let these unanswered questions lead you to quit. Remove the blocks and fears.

One way to do this is to get rid of the goal and create a new one that you don’t need motivation to tackle. Make sure you focus this new goal on getting what you want – directly. Don’t go on a diet to find a partner; instead, create a plan just to find a partner. Ditch the diet part. It is not what you need to do to get a partner.

What if you are still stuck? Make a radical change. Do something completely different and go in the opposite direction. Just don’t do the same old thing. If you want a different result then try something different.

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Self-Coach Sunday 68: Do Or Do Not

Trying is a waste of time. As Yoda said, “Do or do not.  There is no try.” Have you ever tried to pick up a pencil? Here is an exercise: place a pencil in front of you. Now TRY to pick it up. Do you have it in your hand? If so, you have failed the exercise. The instructions were to TRY, but you successfully picked up the pencil. You did it. You didn’t try. Trying implies that it isn’t done. So either do or do not.

I challenge you to change your language. Instead of try, do. Just remember, doing can have two outcomes: it will work or it won’t. If it works, great! If it doesn’t, discover what went wrong.

Trying is a waste of energy and goes against the natural flow of life. Shift your perspective and do or do not.

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