Self-Coach Sunday 77: Turn Complaints Into Requests

Complaining is not attractive. Give it up. Do you enjoy listening to someone complaining? I didn’t think so.

The solution: turn the complaint into a request. Come up with your request. The other person can say yes, no, or counteroffer. When you hear that complaint coming, think of the request you’d like to make. Also, let people know about this action. When they catch you complaining, have them ask YOU what the request is you’d really like to make.

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Self-Coach Sunday 75: Don’t Spill Your Guts

If you are discreet, then this will not apply to you. If, instead, you feel compelled to share the details of your private life to colleagues and new friends, you might was to considering holding your tongue. Most people do not want to hear the most intimate details. Save these stories for your mom, spouse, therapist, coach or long-time friend.

When someone asks you something, keep the answer short and simple without revealing too many details. If someone presses for more detail, simply say “that is a personal question.” Don’t spill your guts – it isn’t professional. As relationships develop you can consider sharing more important parts of your past. Err on the side of not telling everything. Instead, be interested not interesting – interested in other people instead of being interesting.

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Self-Coach Sunday 74: Stop The Gossip

As much as you may love hearing about the dirt on someone, do you ever wonder what others might be saying about you when you aren’t around? No one trusts gossip. You may really miss out on profound conversations because of trust or lack of trust. The rule is to avoid talking about someone who isn’t present. That is a simple rule to follow. Every time you don’t follow it – it is gossip.

A graceful way to steer the conversation away from gossip is to say, “I’d rather hear about you; or I don’t feel comfortable talking about someone who isn’t present.”

What is wrong with a little friendly gossip? Simply put, it can be harmful and destructive. The benefit of giving up gossip: people will start to trust you.

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Self-Coach Sunday 72: Leverage The Telephone

There are a few ways to do this. First, put a 10-minute limit on phone calls. Always try to end the conversation first, and do it with grace. Keeping your calls short and friendly will show your professionalism and value of time.

Another way is to take advantage of voice mail. You do not have to answer the phone every time it rings. And now with caller ID you can assess the call as it comes in as to whether to let it go to voice mail or pick it up. Letting the call go can free you to focus on whatever task you were working on when the call came in. Once you finish that task, you can go back and call that person and utilize the 10-minute plan. Use your phone as a tool to increase, not decrease, your effectiveness.

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Self-Coach Sunday 65: Under-promise and Over-deliver

Do you need to build a reserve of time? Then under-promise and over-deliver. In order to under-promise, you will need to give yourself twice the amount of time you think you’ll need to get something finished. To over-deliver means you will complete the project ahead of the promised deadline and turn it in early.

This tip alone will help you reduce your stress level. You may also become know as the person who always get things done ahead of schedule. This may even lead to a raise or bonus. This works in every area of our lives from work, to home, to cooking, with kids, you name it. Keep expectations low and surprise them.

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